| Title: | We Invented The Internet And Now We Are Taking It Over |
| The educational matters that you will find covered in this entry (assuming you can understand them): | alpacas are dim, alpacas are smelly, calm attitude, cant lick, challenging, click and reward crap, curious, dont touch us, dont train us, earn our respect, extremely enjoyable towork with, feelthefear and do itanyway, ghag begged to staywithus, ghagis welcometo stay really, good vocabulary, hag is making money, hag is not poet, hag is nuts, hag writes blog aboutus, hag writes blogs, have a nice day, hopeshe staysand hag leaves, improperly raised by hag, intelligent, interested in other animals, llamicons need tobe withllamas, male llamas fist fight, nice icon isnt it?, oneofus canterrify wholeherd ofcattle, respect if youdeserve it, spit at you, stupid skunks, stupid snakes, stupidbeaks cant see llamicons, unaffectionate, us, us in water, visionaries, we are fun, we are normal llamas, we are not boring, we are not nuts, we are sexy, we are wacky, we are watching you, we don't touch eachother, we frighten them, we like fuzzy animals, we like sheep, we look like teddybears, we love us, we love you, we loveandapprove ofourselves, we resent touch, we spit at llamas, we thinkbetter thanhumans, we want sheep friends, weare moving toscotland, welike to hangout withyou, weonly spitatyou ifyouprovokeus, werun upto interestinganimals, worship us, you are boring, you are not ourmasters, you are wacky |
| Date: | 2007-09-12 @ 16:09 |
| Security: | public |
| Where are we right now?: | The Palace of the LLama |
| Woke up this morning, baby-baby, ooh yeah...feelin' kinda...: | enraged  |
We become more and more famous every day.
We direct your attention to the following:
- there is a little bit on the right where it says 'get some skin' (translation for GHag = choose a different layout/colour scheme for your webpage) - you can choose about 5 different ways of seeing this website by clicking on the menu and clicking 'change style.' They are all funny, especially the Easter one and the Llamatines Day one.
- you can buy llama stuff on this site, such as this:
- you can feed us by making a PayPal donation
- there are a few quotes about us. We chose this stupid one:
"Blogging Llamas. Does that seem right to you?" Yes, it seems bloody right to us. It is the only kind of blogging there should be. We are taking over the blogging world, bit by bit.
-
The Naked Dancing Llama Homepage - this plays music when you go to it if you have real player although it may update your real player first (it updated ours without even asking us - how rude)
- we quote from under the little white dancing LLama:
"Obligatory llama dancing naked. Note the equisite style with which he deftly turns his head; the light prance in his demeanor as he lightly tosses his feet into the air."- admire these two pictures:
Here is a photo of what we take it in turns to do when are really doing what we want .
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my our hair/Warm smell of colitas rising up through the airThis is one of our favourite songs and why our community is called
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hotel_llama. Although you can leave our hotel any time you like. We don't threaten you by saying if you check in, you can never leave. It
is actually true, though, we just don't tell anyone that before they check in.
daVinci's secret first draft, although we like it a lot better than the final version that he left behind. Moaning Lisas our arse, how about Lovely Llamas?
- read some LLama wisdom "taught...by The Supreme LLama, who rules the universe, spitting peanuts and playing the accordian.."
[hmm...the accordian. AHA! The Hag has an accordian. We are going to teach ourselves to play it so we can yodel and play at the same time.]-
The Grand Master Llama speaks out on: Frolicking"To frolic, as a llama would, is to live."
"You don't learn to frolic, you release the frolic within."
"They may say you cannot frolic. They may scorn you for frolicking in public places. I say, frolic by example, and others will follow suit."
"Life is short. Frolic hard."
"Don't frolic in the wet spots."
"We all frolic in the end."
Peanuts"Spit peanuts only at those you hate, or those you love." (Otherwise known in our circles as spit at everyone, apart from those you love. As we don't love anybody, this is pretty clearcut for us).
"Licking salt is no substitute for a good macadamia."
Responsibility"Control your frolicking, or your frolicking will control you."
"Just because llamas don't clean up after themselves doesn't make it right."
[We *do* clean up after ourselves, but we have to wait hand and foot on the Hag all the time and this makes it harder for us to get back to normal. We even clean up after the Hag.]"Don't lick something unless you really mean it."
[We think that is disgusting.]Procrastination"Don't just stand there, frolic!"
[Don't just stand there, stfu!"]Love"Always leave the doors to frolicking open."
[And what are we supposed to do if an Alpaca comes in?]"Frolic slyly and they shall come to you."
[In our cases, we don't have to frolic slyly or anything else. We get about 798 offers of marriage a day.]"Don't bite off more than you can chew, or you will look like a silly llama."
[Go take a long walk off a short pier]"Dance as a llama would."
[What do you mean by that? We have perfected every form of dancing known to exist.]Welcome to
Llama Web. There is lots here. We note in particular you can vote on your favourite
baby LLama picture and there is a
colour quiz for you to do to see if you can correctly guess what genetic colours the photos of us are - we quote "Llamas enjoy playing tricks on each other, and on each other too. One "trick" is how deceptive colours can be in these animals." See Hag? We are not all white dummies. We mean, NONE of are dummies at all, but we are not all white.
- we quote, from some of the information about us on this site:
"For animals that are grazers, [llamas are remarkably intelligent.] This characteristic makes them exceptionally useful on the trail or in other work situations. Just like people, they, too, are variable in their amount of intelligence. We have some that are pretty "dim" for a llama [fuck off] (which is still pretty smart), and others that are so smart that they put most dogs [and Alpacas] to shame.
While they are not capable of human-type reasoning [that's what you think and you think that because we want you to think that], llamas rely on their acute vision and their sensitivity to behavior (in other animals as well as their own species) to help them learn a great deal about their environment, very quickly. At the same time, most llamas have a very calm attitude which enhances their usefulness in a work situation.
They can also be trained fairly simply, if you can approach them from a llama perspective. In fact, some people accustomed to training dogs or horses will be at a disadvantage when training llamas. One of the best ways to develop communication between yourself and your llamas is to use "Click and Reward" training. The video tapes from Jim Logan on this show llamas able to pick out particular tools on request, put trash in trash barrels, etc. Lots of fun and great inspiration. [Oh change the damn record already. We've been through this. WE DO NOT NEED TO BE TRAINED. WE ARE SELF-TAUGHT.]We quote again: "
Llama BehaviorLlamas learn by behavior, all the time. It is part of their survival tactics.
They will watch your small body movements, and even the expression on your face. This is all visual for the most part. They do not pay a lot of attention to sound, though they can slowly develop a good vocabulary.
This behavior makes them extremely enjoyable to work with, but also a challenge.Llamas' relationships with other llamas are dynamic and constantly changing. They challenge other llamas for superiority for food, hierarchy in the flock, etc. So, here again, they are watching all the time. This is facilitated by their intelligence, curiosity, and excellent vision.With humansLlamas enjoy hanging around with humans, because they do so many wacky things. Due to their
intelligent and curious nature, llamas appreciate new and unusual situations (as long as it is not perceived to be threatening to the llama). It is really fun to take llamas into new situations as this is usually more enjoyable than a problem.
[hahahahaha]You have to earn your relationship with a llama; there's none of this "master/slave" stuff between you and a llama. If you want your llama's respect, you've got to live up to it. It's really a great feeling when a llama trusts you, believe me.Are llamas affectionate? Because of their fluffy appearance and big brown eyes, there is an expectation that llamas will have a "teddy-bear-like", affectionate nature -- that is, that they will enjoy being touched and handled. This is an unfortunate view of the llama, because it is contrary to their normal nature.
Llamas are terrific companions, but they aren't affectionate, by any means. This presumably relates to the fact that llamas are not physically social (as are dogs, cats, horses, cows, etc) animals.
If one llama sniffs another, it is likely to be spit upon. Luckily, they don't spit on people for this, but they usually aren't thrilled by being touched.What about llamas and spitting? Spitting is often discussed in relation to llamas. While spitting at other llamas is natural, people don't care about that - they just don't want the llamas to spit on them!
Normal llamas wouldn't dream of spitting on a human, as spitting is a llama-llama interaction. On the other hand, improperly raised llamas, which are confused about who are the humans and who are the llamas, are prone to developing a spitting habit. Llama babies should be raised solely in the company of other llamas, and should not be overly or excessively handled when young. This is why most people's spitting encounters are made at petting zoos -- the all time worst situation any llama can be put in. (At least, in my opinion.) Normally raised llamas can be guaranteed "spitless".
With llamasSpitting: Female llamas use spitting as their major method to maintain status within the herd and to fend off unwanted attentions (from young inquisitive llamas or male llamas).
Male llamas do not normally spit a lot at each other;
rather, they prefer to have physical fights with each other. For that reason, a female llama is more likely to spit than a male, normally.
Touch:
Llamas do not touch each other. Even mother llamas do not touch their babies, other than gentle sniffs and nudges. Llamas have an attached tongue, which means that they cannot extend their tongue out far enough for effective licking. (Other herbivores with social behaviors lick each other, as you can see horses and cattle doing to each other.)
Because they are not exposed at an early age to touching, this tends to make them unaccustomed to touching, and in fact to resent this, in some cases.With other animalsLlamas are interested in just about every animal, including birds. This can be fun, but it can be a problem, too. They will sniff a snake on the nose, and therefore often get bitten on the nose, which can be very dangerous or even fatal. We had one that tried to make friends with a skunk, but the skunk didn't take to it... the llama smelled for months. They will often run up to any interesting animal, which can be pretty scary for any animal being approached like this. We have seen a single llama panic a sizable herd of young cattle (and not quit running after them, either). So introduce your animals gradually. (Interestingly enough,
they seem to take to fuzzy animals (like sheep) a lot more quickly and naturally.)"
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killer_llamas's journal
